I want to tell you a story. It is a short story about a boy in his sophomore year of college. This year was an eye opening time for this boy. He realized that he had truly no responsibilities and was free to do what he wanted. This boy would spend all day in bed watching YouTube videos. This boy would order food to the dorm late at night when there was no reason to do so. This boy essentially epitomized college apathy. At this time in the boy's life he still had drive, desire, and ambition but felt there were very few outlets for him to express this. Nothing seemed interesting! So it seemed the boy was doomed to spend his days lazily watching YouTube videos and slowly getting out of shape because he refused to go to the gym. The worst part was, he was fine with this. He still did well in his classes and he still had a respectable social life. But, he was deluded. He believed that one day he would find his passion knocking him out of his lazy stage from there everything would be hunky-dory. The world would not work this way for him and over time this boy began to realize that.
As his junior year approached the boy wanted to make changes. He was not satisfied with himself or the direction he veered his life last school year. He was still lazy but he began to recognize that tendency within himself and thus could begin to quash it. But his main passion really had not revealed itself yet and that worried the boy. How could he give energy to something he did not truly love? When would the thing he truly loved come into his life? Why has it taken so long to manifest? These are the questions the boy asked himself, and while he sought answers he never found one. Through force of will or sheer luck this boy was able to surround himself with some very good friends. These individuals seemed to have found their respective passions and worked tirelessly towards them. It was inspiring and the boy often conversed with his friends about their passions. One night his best friend instilled in the boy a piece of knowledge that changed the boy's perspective. This advice so simple yet profound enough that the questions he asked himself before did not seem to matter. He realized he had been living his life in search of a passion instead of living his life. He was able to make smart decisions, work tirelessly, and get out of bed without needing the motivator of a life passion. If one day the boy realized his passion he would be ready to grasp it and achieve his newfound goals. The better outcome of this new situation, however, is that the boy will create a passion and enjoy happiness from that; it is always fun to create.
I hope you enjoyed the story. That boy was pretty obviously me, and I offered you a narrow glimpse into my mindset the past two years to provide context into how I am today. The title of this post mentions motivation and discipline so first let me talk about that. Motivation is fleeting. Motivation comes and goes and very simply provides incentive for work that should be done anyway. Motivation is not a bad thing, as it always feels better to work when you are motivated to do so but it is dangerous to rely on. In the story I described how the boy waited for his passion to come and thus could not find any reason to get out of bed. He was driven by motivation and that is a self-failing prophecy. If you wait for motivation to do work, you will never start the work and if you do not start the work the motivation to complete said work will never come. So it is a fruitless effort. Which is where discipline comes into play. Discipline and motivation are closely related. They are twin-siblings. But, like, fraternal twins where you can easily tell them apart but still see the familial connection. Discipline and motivation thrive off of each other. To me, discipline is essentially a tendency to continue moving when one would rather sit. If an individual begins to move out of discipline it is highly likely that eventually they will feel motivated to continue. This surges progress and makes one feel good and accomplished. The motivation may begin to fade but if the discipline persists the person continues to move and the cycle can happily begin again. It is not always about moving in a specifically correct direction or with an insanely relevant purpose. Moving at all is a success and should be cherished.
At the end of my story I begin to tell about the position the boy is in now. And since that boy is me I will just say this all comes from a genuine place. I feel I move often in many different directions. The places where I feel success I expand effort towards and the things where maybe I reach a point where I know I have explored as much as I can I step back from. I still am glad to be moving. This lifestyle has come at a great time as I will soon be graduating from college and it will no longer be up to my discretion to move. It is either move or risk not achieving the life I want. I have not had an easy life, there have been a lot of obstacles but I have been given every opportunity to make my life easier in the future. That is why I will keep moving, keep writing blog posts about pertinent things in my life, and keep on changing. If you read this far, thank you for your time. I hope you enjoyed my personal anecdote and maybe you are able to pull some of this into your own perspective. From here on out I know I will live with that mindeset while continuing to challenge myself, pursuing new goals and learning as much as possible along my journey to becoming a damn good software developer.